I dream of John Green

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I am a huge fan of John Green. I can’t say I’ve read all his books, because Paper Towns is still sitting on my bedside table in the gigantor pile of books to read. But I kinda like that it’s there. It makes me feel like a little bit of John Green magic is still out there waiting for me if I ever finish Outlander/Cross Stitch. I’m on page 68 so I’m making pretty terrible progress. I was really getting into it until the sex scene a couple pages back. Is it just me or are sex scenes in books almost always really cringey and not that hot? I gave up on the Sookie Stackhouse books, although I do very much enjoy True Blood, because of the awful sex scenes. I mean really? Can’t we just elude to these things? I’m not a prude especially, but we’re already in the protagonist’s head and know their every thought, can we give them just a little privacy?

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Nice segue into my John Green Dream.

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No, it wasn’t that kind of dream.

So I’m somewhere in America, it’s very green (ha!) and there is a river. I go off to teach my writing class and I happen upon John Green. He’s like Hi. I’m like Hi, John Green. Then he says he’d love to give me some writing tips and I’m about to hear them and then my alarm goes off and wakes me the hell up. This is like my version of those dreams where you are about to make out with your celebrity crush or something and then…

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So when I got home from work I looked up a bunch of John Green memes and quotes on Pinterest, just to check if he’d left my message somewhere, but no. It was just the usual John Green quotes like this one:

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But I think I actually like the above pizza version better. You can totally write your own version of this that you can put in your YA novels so that people can make cool pictures for Pinterest based on your book later. Here’s an example of what I’m thinking…

“So she walked through time and space and collapsed onto the red leather couch, thinking that if people were drinks she was an old flat bottle of 7-up and he was a shot of vintage whiskey.”

Could I write my whole novel based on a John Green novel?!

And so I continue to live my life with no actual personal writing advice from John Green, but I live in hope that I will have the dream again tonight, or tomorrow night, or one night soon, and he will tell me all the secrets to the YA novel writing universe.

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